Wednesday, March 12, 2008

March, the eyes have it

Late Feb and March have been hard for me. A week after I turned 50 I had thie weird bout of double vision. I wasn't worried about it, it was weird but nothing hurt. But my doctor was. I got sent to an Opthomologist and he found something weird. I have a damaged optic nerve in my right eye and they don't know why. Apparently the damage I have isn't usually seen in people my age unless they have had a stroke or many TIA's. As far as I know I have never had a stroke (but maybe that would explain all my typos?)

I'm in the middle of much testing right now. For cat scratch fever, Rhumatism and other connective tissue diseases. I have a ton of posts on it in my regular blog...if you want to read about it go here.

So this month is all about the blind spot in my eye. So far I've had a lot of fear about losing my eyesight (is it glaucoma?), is there a disease process going on? Is it ongoing or what? The double vision is NOT related to the optic nerve damage so what is going on with that?

I don't have a lot of my March page done yet. So far it's not showing any anxiety in the composition but since I'm freeforming it (no pre-drawing my laout) I can't promose it'll be all confident and happy.

I've been dirverting myself from thinking of glaucoma, MS, or eeeeekkkk - brain tumor by keeping busy, by focusing on my beading (a huge help) and jumping in living. I'm also about to schdule meniscuis knee surgery which will take me out of work and I can focus on healing and beading! Good thing I don't kneed (hahaha, I love stupid puns) my knee to bead.

The colors represent the colors I think I'd miss the most (ok, who's kidding who? I'd miss them all), the tear is the sadness and confusion I felt finding out I have some kind of eye issue. I actually love this piece a lot, it gave me a lot of peace.


abeadlady said...

Love it, love it, love it.


vivage said...

LOL, thank you, thank you, thank you. The colors are so vibrant I love it too.

Robin said...

Me too... love it, love it, love it... colors, the way the eye seems to be looking at a bright light above it, the stylized lashes, the hopeful quality to it... I'm so glad you have a thorough ompthamologist, who is concerned enough to look into the double vision issue. I'm glad working on it was healing and helpful for you. My goodness, you've been through a lot of medical stuff recently. Thanks the universe for bead therapy...
Robin A.

vivage said...

Ain't that the truth! Even tho I've had lots of medical stuff going on, I'm feeling danged healthy and a little bewildered over all this stuff.

But yes, beading is therapy and helps me focus on the Now and not the What If.

Hélène H said...

Beautiful, i love the colours and design !